Bloke goes to his dinner with the parents of his girlfriend for the first time ever. They're sitting in a pretty conventional fashion, table cloth, lots of food, dog lying under the table, all that.
Halfway through the main course, the bloke has an urge to fart. Not an urge, a compulsion, a need. He can't get up without looking rude, so he leans to one side and lets rip a quiet 'parp'
The father of the family looks under the table;
"Rover!" He says.
'Blinding' thinks the guy, 'Got away with that one, now they think it was the
dog. Marvellous...'
Five minutes later, he needs to fart again. But he got away with it before,
so he tries it again....
*parp!*
"Rover!"
Marvellous.
Twice more he does it, twice more the father calls on his dog.
*parp!!*
"Rover, come out!"
*parp!!!*
"Rover!"
It's getting late in the meal, and our man is quite pleased with his success. Dizzy with it, and full of good girlfriendally-parent cooked food and wine, and knowing the dog has always been... y'know... he lets another....
*PPAAAAARP!*
"Rover? Rover!" Says the Father, "Rover, get out from under
the table, before that boy sh*ts on your head!"